In the list of “things that piss me off” number two is people judging other people’s lifestyle and right behind it, is people speaking inaccurately on my behalf. Number one is when people chew too loud but that is besides the point.
Sometimes, I hear people speak for me and I just want to tell them what I really think about how terrible their sweater is since they feel the high-and-mighty power to mosey their opinions right on over into my life as if they came directly from my mouth. Instead, I put it in my monoblog and keep my mouth shut. Usually.
I, obviously, have an entire blog about my opinions and thoughts that people can read if they want to know what I think… but people don’t have to read it. In fact, most people don’t. And others feel free to inform me of their opinions about some of their least favorite posts anyway (here’s lookin’ at you Mr. drinking Blue Moon tonight since you drank all of the Corona we had in the hotel already).
Anyway. Today is neat. “same-sex marriage” is now just “marriage” in the good ole U.S. of A., since The Supremes decided to overturn a court case and now it’s legal in all 50. (cue the sound of people exiting this browser. Tootles to them.)
It is a beautiful and gorgeous day for everyone. Not just humans who like humans with the same parts… all humans. One day, I think that even the most conservative of Republicans will get that. No offense, but who freaking cares that Jack and Jim are in love? Not me. Hey, free love, go them. It’s not my life, so I don’t get a say- hence pet-peeve numero uno.
Growing up in democratic Connecticut, in a city with a diverse population taught me to just let people be who they want to be. Freedom is not for some, it is for all. And that is amazing, no matter how you slice it. America is working on it, so get your brains out of the 1900s and join us in the 2010s. Black people marry white people who have mixed race children who marry people from other races and religions and contribute to society just exactly the same way that single-race humans do. This is 2015, and this is the United States of America, not Harry Potter world. “Pure-blood” isn’t a thing. The only thing pure about my blood in comparison to any other person’s is that it doesn’t carry any common blood abnormalities.
But that is another post entirely.
Lemme lay some bits of knowledge on y’all who are freaking out about Jack and Jim’s pending nuptials:
1) Jack and Jim are doing wayyyyyy less harm than Kris and Kim.
The divorce rate is actually higher among heterosexual couples than it is among homosexual ones. And listen here ye who says “but there are more legal straight marriages than gay marriages so that statistic is biased.” Here is a math fact: percentages take that into account, so google it if you’re still confused. Knowing this will help you in life beyond belittling other people’s lifestyles too, so it’s best to just know it.
2) The Church is the oldest institution on the planet. It will likely survive this news as it hasn’t crumbled from the other countries that it is legal in. Relax. We’re probably in the clear, but just to be safe: ask Spain, Portugal, Canada, France, Sweden, Norway, Iceland and Brazil, just to name a few.
As an exceptionally proud Christian woman, I know that the Bible, Leviticus 18:22 to be exact, says that a man shall not lie with another man as it is an abomination. Blah blah blah. This is the verse that conservative Christians love and I mean loooooovvvvveeee, quoting to make homosexuals feel like God hates them and they’re going to hell.
Well, my God, whom I actually do believe is the same one that you claim to follow, loves the gays. You know why? Because they know their own hearts, the hearts that our Lord and Savior made them, and they don’t lie about it. So, as per pet peeve numero dos: no, you do not speak on behalf of all Christians, because I am a Christian, and I firmly believe that God loves all His children. I could cite like 30 different scripture references to this as well. But truthfully, the Bible, in all it’s holiness as the number one best-selling book in the world, is a book that was canonized (look it up) by a collection of men. Shocker. I know, but Christ himself did not actually pen the book, it is a religious text that is interpreted many many different ways, so if we are taking the Bible’s words literally….. stop eating pork, beef, clams, and a bunch of other things that most of us eat. Yup. It’s unclean. Took that from the Bible; Leviticus 11 actually, so I didn’t even have to travel very far from the go-to “God hates gays” Bible reference to find it. Lucky.
Now, I can understand not wanting to take the whole text literally, that would be just hard and I wouldn’t want you to struggle with oppressive religious practices, but I mean we can’t even stay true to one entire book? C’mon. If you’re going to take one sentence so literally that you plaster it on posters and cite it in every debate, and the next just be all “bahhh, no that part is outdated” then I will put you on my church’s prayer chain until you can sort out that hypocrisy.
Oh more from Leviticus: don’t wear fabric blends, that’s right, just same-fabric clothing pieces from now on since we follow the Bible word for word. Leviticus is the be-all, end-all book that we quote and follow verbatim, so make sure you check the tags on your favorite shirt before you head out picketing the courthouse steps today.
Bottomline, as a straight Christian woman, I don’t judge people because of their lifestyles and I don’t condemn them to hell either. “Judge not, that you be not judged.” -Matthew 7:1 That one you can take literally.
Master P put it best, “only God can judge me.” I may be an ordained minister, but the only real power that gives me is to legally marry people. All people now. So shout out to the SCOTUS.
-end relatively long rant-